Losing Him

She lay there in the dark crying. She hated pretending she was better off with out him. There was no reset button for her heart. One can not simply forget to love another. Even after the pain has become too much to bare, it is still impossible to ignore the feelings. A battered women still goes home every night, not in fear, but in love. Even covered in blood, her sanguine heart still loves him in ways she won't soon forget. Any amount of pain is better than the idea of losing him. It wasn't even her heart so much that missed him, but her mind. Rarely does one find such a like minded soul with which he or she might share a view on the world. The comfort of understanding, the freedom with which they spoke, the closeness of it all; that was the hardest to lose.

Tired

She was tired. Tired of hoping, tired of dreaming, tired of wishing. Tired. She didn't want to pick up the pieces and start over again. She didn't want to figure out a new course of action. For once she just wanted everything to fall in line. For something to be easy. But her life had never been that way and she knew better than to be hopeful of it now. Nothing ever went according to plan; it never even went close to plan. Even when the plan was a simple one, it was sure to incure a detour or two. She could see the life she wanted right in front of her eyes. The people who would be her friends, the places she would drink her coffee, the roads upon which she would travel. All of these came to mind so vividly that it was impossible to believe there were any other options and yet in a moments notice it would surely crumble leaving her devastated and lost. Time for a new plan she told herself all the while realizing nothing would ever make her as happy as her original dream. Perhaps that's all she was in this world; a dreamer. A dreamer whose visions would always lie just out of her reach. And it was with this idea in mind and this agony in heart, that she one again began to formulate a new plan.