A Preemptive Apology

I know I haven’t met you yet, but I apologize in advance

I won’t be able to make it easy for you to love me

It’s going to be hard for me to let you in

All the others who have come before have left you little

And there isn’t much I can do to get it back

 

You’ll have to work twice as hard to break down walls others built around me

I won’t believe you when you say things they once said even if you mean it

And I’ll probably punish you for all of their mistakes

I’ll definitely avoid connecting with you on things I shared with him because to me they will still be sacred topics

 

There will be times I can’t explain what I am feeling

and times I’ll just break down and you won’t understand

I’ll spend a long time not letting myself get close to you

And I’ll probably flinch the first time you hold my hand

 

But worst of all, you’ll have to spend your whole life knowing

I can never give my whole heart to you because there are parts of it I’ll never get back. 

You will have to settle for the mangled fragments I managed to salvage

and I will spend my whole life feeling ashamed that’s all I have to give

 

But I promise, if you can get past my imperfections,

if you can forgive me for the shields around my heart,

if you can be patient with me while I fight what I am feeling,

if you can see past all the broken glass 

 

I promise I will learn to love you. 

I promise I’ll try my hardest to forget.

I know at some point my walls will come down

though the time it takes may be longer than it’s worth. 

I promise I will give you everything I have left. 

 

I’ll learn to make coffee the way you love it and cook your eggs just right. 

I’ll straighten your tie as you get ready for work and make your favorite pies at Thanksgiving. 

I’ll be kind to your mother even if she hates me and I’ll ask your father for advice. 

I’ll go shopping with your sister if you have one and stand up for you when your brother is at arms. 

 

I know that this is a lot to ask of you, I know the order’s tall.  But I promise if you can get past all of my problems, my love is really worth it after all.

 

Man's Best Friend

And yet again the heroine closes the chapter alone

No one here by her side and nowhere left to go

She sits alone 

with the car in park

While her world

both inside and out

grows dark

She’s a simple girl

With a simple heart

Never asking more than she’s due

Never speaking back to you

Patient, kind, never complaining

Never over estimating

Strong and steadfast

Always here to support you

Unconditionally loyal

Perpetually faithful

Always mans best friend

And she will never be more than that to you

Salutations to a fool

Congratulations, hurrah, hooray!
Indeed you've surely won

The game is finally over

and a what splendid win it was

You found your one “un-getable” get

And you gave her quite the run

You got the fool to fall for you

To fall not once but twice

And what a silly notion thought she

that her heart could ever suffice

Giving to you so willingly

So free and unashamed

Her truest ruby she passed to you

And watched it slip away

Knowing not what was to become

Of her faint and fragile heart

Guarding it so carefully while

you but played your part

But slowly work your magic you did

And slowly the walls came down

And finally, you could see it

The shining victors crown!

Alas you're a stunning showman

And the victor’s crown you'll wear

With pose and grace and arrogance

When through the lonely fields you tear

And think not of the broken dame

Just leave her as she lay

For in the morning they shall send some other Jester

to come carry her away

You've made a fool of her and for no reason

For what reason could you have?

Incomplete

The phone rings, it isn't you I sigh and put it down


If its space you need I understand


Take all the time you need


I’ll be here, waiting patiently, right where you left me


But I’ll ask of you just one small favor


Tiny as it may be


Try not to take too long my love


For surely you can see


That underneath my stoic face


My heart cries out for you


It’s not that I can’t go on


Nor is it that I’m weak


It’s just that when were not together


My heart feels incomplete